did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
