Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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