i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
