This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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