For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
