yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
