I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
