When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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