Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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