and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
