susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
