maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
