my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
