So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
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You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
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I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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