I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
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The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
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And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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