Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
