we have officially lost it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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