please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
