Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
