absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Randomize
