Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
