if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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