Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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