I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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