i already hear my dad disowning me
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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