when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This is classic penis vs brain.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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