garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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