Pappa wants mamma naked
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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