Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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