remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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