STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
