your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
