On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
