I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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