Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize