I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize