I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
