You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
