I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
