Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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