I feel like abortions should bother me more
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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