I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
we're so committed to being not committed
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
