i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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