I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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