He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
