Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
