I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
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you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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