Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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