If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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