What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
