it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize