And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
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update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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