Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
