I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Im part way to drunk.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
