Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
