I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
