when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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