She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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